Is Your Guy Still Into His Ex?

Is His Ex Ruining Your Relationship?

 

 

Don’t Allow Yourself to be Second in Love

 

Even though he is not legally married, doesn’t mean he’s not still emotionally married….

Some men have a very difficult time emotionally letting go of an ex-wife, especially when the divorce was not their decision. Add children to the mix, and dating a guy like this will make you feel like a constant loosening third wheel. Yikes!

 

You would think that if a marriage ended due to:

  • His wife cheating
  • His wife having a full on affair
  • His wife leaving him for another man
  • His wife completely falling out of love with him
  • His wife having zero respect for him—and clearly demonstrating this

…that he would not only want to move on emotionally, but also have very little to do with her. Unless, of course, they have children, and if so, keeping the communication strictly about the kids.

Although that might sound great in theory, there are men who are either too ego driven—not accepting their fault in the divorce, too insecure with themselves—to believe they deserve better, or a combination of both.

 

 

Your Man’s Ego – Is it a Problem?

The ego of a man (and frankly the competitiveness) will convince him that he still wants a woman who has left him, even if he didn’t try hard enough to keep (or value) her when he had the chance. Once she “causes” the demise of her marriage—cheating—or leaving him, his ego will set in and determine that he still wants her. His ego will convince him to do anything to win her back. What he fails to realize is that most women, when they emotionally move on—due to lack of feeling secure—are hard to obtain again.

Often, when a woman decides to have an affair—emotional or physical—it is because she is not feeling emotionally secure, financially secure or supported by her husband anymore. Once this break-down has happened, winning her back is not always an option. However, the ego will convince him to try even if it’s not about honestly wanting to keep her.

There are men who cannot accept a woman being the one to end things. So when she does, it is a huge bruise to their ego, making it their mission to get back together with her just so that he can be the one to officially end things. Of course this will usually tend to backfire in his face. And if you are dating or in a relationship with a guy like this, it will make you feel like you are never good enough since he is always thinking and talking about his Ex.

 

 

Is Your Man Insecure?

Many insecure men cannot deal with the fact that a woman has ended the relationship because they did something wrong. When this happens, they will seek forgiveness in the form of being a doormat for their Ex. Men like this will also look for things they are doing wrong or “think” you’re unhappy with—assuming they will never be good enough for you since, they weren’t good enough for their Ex.

Even if he emotionally pushed her towards the decision to get divorced by his actions (or lack of), taking ownership for his part is just as hard for an ego driven man as it is for a guy who has insecurity issues. Denial is an immature way of dealing with any problem, however so many men are guilty of this.

The man’s denial can also cause him to be subconsciously emotionally invested in his ex-wife—who no longer wants him. And if he’s in denial, how can he be expected to move forward with a new love? If your man is not dealing with his issues of insecurity over the failure of his previous relationship, it will  likely end up being a relationship killer for the two of you.

It might be hard to determine if your man is insecure; men who are insecure don’t always acknowledge their faults in the demise of a relationship. Instead they will focus on what their ex-wife did—cheating or leaving—in order to make themselves feel better.

If he’s not being honest with himself about what he did to push her away, he will continue to be emotionally connected to his ex-wife.  He will always be concerned about upsetting her and will work to please and appease her. Until your man can own up to his mistakes and forgive himself, he will remain tied to her.

 

 

Tell-tale Signs That Your Guy is Still Emotionally Stuck On His Ex:

 

  • If you and his Ex are both in need of his support—he will choose her over you
  • If he has kids, he won’t (or hardly) ever switch custody days with his Ex—for anything important having to do with you.
  • He reminds you (frequently) that she is the mother of his children and will always be in his life (duh)—but that should not mean she trumps you!
  • He will gladly let his Ex switch her custody days whenever she feels like it.
  • He will leave work early to pick up the kids for his ex-wife on her days—but she will never reciprocate.
  • If she calls him upset, he will stress out until he can call her back.
  • He has zero backbone when she is around.
  • In her presence he will be wanting to get her attention like a lost puppy.
  • Even if she is in a relationship, living with a guy or remarried, he will still go out of his way to help her when she is sick, has surgery or is injured.
  • Her plans will always trump your plans that you have made together.

 

 

Final Thoughts

As woman we really (really) want to believe when a guy proclaims that he is over his Ex, that he actually is, especially if it’s been years since the divorce. Unfortunately, men like this can be convincing because they are in denial themselves.

Take a long hard look at your relationship. What are you getting out of this? Would you stay in a relationship if they were unfaithful with someone new? What’s the difference with them being in love with someone “old”?

You get to choose your experiences and it’s time to think about what you really want. Find someone who puts you first, not second place to a ghost.

Instead of being present for yourself, you are torturing yourself with your partner’s past and feeling inadequate. You need to accept that your partner’s past makes them who they are. The person you have fallen in love with is a product of their past influences. They are not the person they were in that relationship. Look at them closely. They don’t even look the same.

If you can, communicate your fears to your partner. Ask them to support you and reassure as you work through these feelings. If they are the person you are supposed to be with, the feelings will fade as your relationship becomes more real and established.

Most men don’t want to admit that they are still in-love, harboring feelings or care (to a high degree) about their Ex—and what their Ex thinks or feels about the them—when the reasons she finally left were due to falling out of love or cheating. He will think that by still harboring feelings for her, he is pathetic. Is it pathetic to admit these feelings? Or is it more cowardly to be in a relationship with another woman knowing you are secretly pining for validation or in need of an ego boost? Either scenario, being with a guy like this is a lose-lose situation for you.

Ladies, being with a man who has not sorted out his true feelings and emotions (other than some therapy) regarding his Ex means that you will live in the shadows of her. Until he is open and willing—and actually deals with his unresolved feelings—he can never be the man who can one-hundred percent give himself to you. You deserve to be with a man who is emotionally baggage free. Don’t allow yourself to come second in love.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article helpful and empowering. 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

-Laurie

 

Recommended Reading:

What Men Won’t Tell You: Women’s Guide to Understanding Men

How to read their minds, what men want, why men cheat, why men won’t commit, why men lose interest, and how to avoid rejection from men.  By Ryan Thant.

What Men Won’t Tell You: Women’s Guide to Understanding Men (How to read their minds, what men want, why men cheat, why men won’t commit, why men lose interest, how to avoid rejection from men) by [Thant, Ryan]

Read Reviews

 

You may also be interested in:

Today’s Best Retinol Creams

How to Make Your Man More Romantic

How to Get Over Him

How to Stop Being Manipulated

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading – Sample Questions

Looking for Love After 40 – It’s Different

Losing a Loved One – Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

How to Choose the Right Diet Plan for Your Unique Life

Science Proves Coffee Slows Down Aging

Find The Best Bathroom Scale for You

Should You Be Taking Probiotics Daily?

The Fix for Cracked Heels

The Best Foot Bath Massagers – Full Reviews

Coloring For Adults is a Healthy Hobby

Are Genetic Testing Services Worth It?

Is the MyPurMist Inhaler Worth Buying?

Does Biosil Actually Do Anything?

How to Get Over Him

How to Get Over Him

 

 

A Step by Step Guide for Moving On

 

 

Being in a relationship is great. Loneliness rarely sets in because you always have someone to spend the day with or talk to when you need to vent. You experience new things with this person, like seeing plays, going to concerts, traveling, exploring new restaurants and shops, etc. You can also learn from this person by conversing and challenging each other to understand different ideas and philosophies.

Oh, and there’s sex! Who doesn’t love sex? So being in a relationship sounds great, and on paper, it is. However, in reality, relationships aren’t bulletproof. You’ll argue about trivial nonsense like where to eat, or what movie to watch. Relationships are complicated and stressful so failure is always a great possibility. Now, no one who is happy in their relationship would want it to end; unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want. Like the famous saying goes, “All good things must eventually come to an end.”

Dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationship is always a tough thing to overcome, but you can make it easier on yourself by being proactive with these steps:

 

 

 

Accept the Truth

 

Honestly, there are many things that can act as a catalyst in ending a relationship: cheating, lack of communication, or just plain boredom. It doesn’t really matter where the relationship went wrong, and you’ll only drive yourself insane trying to rework the timeline attempting to pin down the exact moment in which everything fell apart.

Instead, take a deep breath and swallow the truth. That’s step number one: accepting that it’s over. This will be the hardest step for most people, as optimism naturally takes over when the relationship ends. You’ll try to get the person back, hanging onto the notion that there may be a chance he will take you back.

Let go. The quicker you accept the truth, the quicker you’ll get over him or her and start dating again.

 

 

Reflect on the Failed Relationship

According to Dr. Karen Weinstein, a psychologist from New York, you should look back at the relationship for everything it was: both the good and the bad. Don’t idealize it. Instead, make a list of the things about it that didn’t make you happy. You might find some reasons it’s better that you two went your separate ways.

A study from the journal, Social Psychological and Personality Science, also shows that thoughtful reflection about a relationship after it ends can help speed up the healing process — this isn’t wallowing, though. If you’re not in a place where you can think about your relationship clearly, that’s okay. Give it some time and then try again.

 

 

 

Image result for BFFs

Connect With Your Friends

The worst thing you can do after a relationship ends is become a recluse. You see it in the movies all the time (typically romantic comedies). The protagonist is lying in bed, sulking over their broken heart. Friends then burst into the room — usually throwing back the curtains to let light into the depressing, dark room — and finger through the protagonist’s filthy food scraps and unkempt belongings.

For the rest of us, we have to be the ones to instigate a “hang out” with our friends, because they have lives too. Also, when you tell someone to leave you alone in real life . . . they usually do. So be a big boy or girl and call a friend to spend time with you.

 

 

Talk it Out

Talking through the breakup with close friends can also be therapeutic. A study by Grace Larson of Northwestern University found that talking through how you feel now that you’re no longer in a relationship and revisiting key points of the breakup, such as when you thought it was going south and how it affected your view on romance, can help you regain your own identity and sense of self now that you’re no longer in a couple.

While talking it through, it may be helpful to consider your own story from a third-person perspective. In other words, put yourself in your friend’s (or someone else’s) shoes and describe it from their viewpoint. Research shows that this kind of distancing helps you reflect and gain insight from what you’ve experienced without falling into feeling sorry for yourself.


Get A FREE Reading Now!

 

 

Get Busy

This step ties into the second one. Make sure you find something to do. Let me clarify that this step is mostly for the times when you are alone. What I did was watch movies, play lots of video games, listen to my MP3 player, and read a bunch of books.

Of course, hanging out with a friend is a great way to take your mind off of the relationship and your ex, but they have lives too and can’t spend every waking minute consoling you. So, do anything as long as you’re not just sitting in your room browsing the Internet.

What you do doesn’t have to be something big, either. In fact, research indicates that even just doing something with the intention of it helping you could be effective. Journaling intentionally is one example of something small that can be really helpful.

I suggest getting yourself a beautiful new journalling notebook to inspire your new habit. 

Some Examples:

 

 

 

Learn Something New

Similar to the previous step, this step requires you to get up and do something. Where it differs though, is in what you are doing. Step three gets your mind off of your ex, but it allows you to do unproductive things for the sake of healing.

Step four is different in that you should do things considered “productive.” I took the time to write and to learn how to play piano. I also took up the hobby of paper crafting. So do something productive like writing, learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, or taking up a hobby.

This is a crucial step of rebuilding your identity — one that doesn’t include your ex. It’s been shown that people who strongly identified themselves with their partners had a harder time getting over the relationship, so the more you can build a new you or rediscover old hobbies, or even rediscover what it’s like to do your old hobbies as a single person, the closer you’ll get to being happy without your ex.

 

 

Work Out

Exercising is good for your body as well as your mind. It has been proven to make you more focused and energized. Having focus and energy will help motivate you to do things like those listed in step four. Plus, if you are out of shape, then exercising will help you tone that body so when you are ready to get back to dating, you’ll be more confident about your physical appearance.

 

 

Take a Vacation if You Can

This step may not be possible for some of you. If money is tight, or if you’re young and don’t have a job, then this step may not be too useful. For those who can spare the cash, take a mini-vacation. You don’t have to fly off to Hawaii, Italy, or somewhere outlandish.

When a relationship ends, it’s hard to give complete, undivided attention to work and school. Sometimes you need to shake loose and enjoy life.

And if you’re having impulses to do something crazy — like dye your hair, get a tattoo, quit your job, and move to New Zealand — you’re better off waiting to do those things until you’re a little more stable and in control. A vacation could be a good way to feel a little impulsive without being totally out of control. You can try on a new identity later on down the line.

 

 

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Slightly different from going on vacation, this step encourages you to take a break from dating. A common mistake people make after being dumped is to date someone immediately after. That’s a no-no. Don’t make someone your rebound — that’s never nice.

Instead, take a break to reflect on yourself. Spend time working on bettering your life through your hobbies, your schooling, your career, or whatever else. Stay away from dating because there are too many things that can go wrong with that. You could annoyingly bring up your ex to your new partner, causing them to question your sanity and attraction to them. If your ex cheated on you, then you will most likely have trust issues with the new girlfriend or boyfriend (I’m guilty of this).

So just take a break. You don’t have to wait a whole year like I did before getting back into the dating scene, but at least give it a few months.

You might even be over them faster than you think. Most people overestimate how long it will take for them to get over their ex significant other, especially if they weren’t involved with the decision to end the relationship in the first place. So it might seem like things are never going to get better and that you’re never going to find someone else, but those thoughts simply aren’t true.

 

Recommended Reading:

The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing From a Breakup or Divorce

 

 

Embrace Change in Your Life

I should note here that these steps don’t have to be followed in any order, with the exception of the first step. In fact, these steps shouldn’t really be “steps” at all. You should continue doing all of them simultaneously or interchangeably until you have reached an emotional state you are satisfied with. That being said, I believe this final step is the MOST important step, hence why I saved it for last. It’s going to sound a bit harsh and a bit drastic, but I promise it is necessary.

The final thing you need to do is change your life. This can mean almost anything and will differ from person to person, but one thing should always be done. Get rid of your ex’s stuff. Throw away the pictures, videos, notes, presents, etc. or at least hide them away. You cannot completely move forward if you are clinging to the past.

 

 

Also, I’ve never met someone who was comfortable with their significant other having things from their previous relationships. It’s unhealthy and stubborn. Why would you want to hold onto memories of a failed relationship? I mean, sure, there were good moments in the relationship, but the very fact that it ended means that those good memories were outweighed by the bad. Like in the movie 500 Days of Summer, if you just stop focusing on all the good times from the relationship, you’ll remember all the bad ones.

 

 

Cut Him Out (Entirely!)

The next thing to do is get rid of your ex. Wait a minute, that makes no sense . . . I mean, we are already broken up, right? Wrong. In today’s Internet-driven age, most people never really get rid of their ex. They keep them as friends on various social media platforms.

This usually happens because both parties agree to “still be friends.” Don’t do this! Get rid of him or her. You will only hurt yourself by pretending that you can still be friends. I know it sounds mean, but you’ll regret it when he gets a new girlfriend and floods his Facebook with pictures of them kissing and loving each other or bombards his “wall” with status updates about how awesome the new girl is (the alternative applies for guys as well).

 

 

Protect yourself. Stop worrying about him. If in the future you decide you can be friends, then go ahead (unless your new partner has an issue, which is entirely understandable), but during the healing process, it’s best to shut them out entirely.

Besides, one study showed that people who cyber-stalked their exes tended to have more negative feelings about them, missed them more, and in general felt worse about the breakup. Don’t do it! Removing them from your social networks will make it much harder to do.

 

 

Expand Your Social Circle, and Possibly Your Career

Also, if you are young and can afford to find a new part-time job, then do so. A nice change of scenery and routine will help cast the illusion that things are better. The effort to move forward in life and create major changes to your job and circle of friends will help motivate you to become the person you want to be.

 

Image result for expand your social circle

 

Building off of what I just said, you should also find new friends. Now hold on! Before you call bullshit and close your Internet browser, hear me out. If you have friends that are exclusively your friends, who will stick by YOU and not your ex, then keep them.

However, if you had mutual friends, then you might want to consider distancing yourself from them. After all, your friends won’t be courteous enough to plan out every “hang out” so that you and your ex aren’t invited to the same event. Not saying that they are bad friends, just that it is not their obligation to ensure this doesn’t happen. How awkward would that be to get invited to a party, movie, or some other event by one of your friends, only to run into your ex when you arrive? Remember, you can always find new friends. And the ones that can’t choose you over the ex are probably not worth being friends with anyway.

 

 

Final Thoughts

So there you go. Those are my tips on how to get over a long-term relationship. Once again, not all of these will work for everyone. You have to choose which ones feel most natural to you. Maybe you don’t want to get a new job, and that’s fine. Maybe you really do want to be left alone, and that’s okay too.

Just remember that all things heal in time. So, cheer up, because there really are plenty of fish in the sea. And I know it hurts now, but eventually you will look back at all of this and laugh.

Use this time as an opportunity to work on yourself. Make new friends, work on personal goals, and play some damn video games if you want! It takes work to be happy and to get over that long-term relationship, but when you finally do…you’ll wish it would happen again. No I’m just kidding! But honestly, at least you will be wiser from your experiences and you’ll know how to handle it if or when it happens again.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article helpful and empowering.

If you would like to speak with a psychic to help you get over him,  I recommend Psychic Access.


Get A FREE Reading Now!

All Psychic Access psychics are tested and verified, and you can start with a totally free reading to see if it feels right for you.

 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

How to Stop Being Manipulated

How to Stop Being Manipulated

 

 

Signs That You’re Being Psychologically Manipulated

 

Have you ever experienced it at the hands of someone close to you? What about with a spouse, colleague, a boss, a friend, or a family member? Sometimes you may even be controlled by a neighbor!

Control is a powerful word. It is a powerful force within the human race. It denotes a power to dictate, influence, maneuver, or direct.

If you look up the term “control,” it is synonymous with intimidating words including: sway, authority, jurisdiction, command, dominance, mastery, sovereignty, supremacy, or ascendancy. These words are certainly intimidating to say the least, especially if you feel you are being controlled by someone unnecessarily.

No one likes to be controlled. It usurps our ability to act using free will, experience the world as we see it, and choose our values, beliefs, and actions without interference. On the flip side, if control never existed the world would be a mess, our jobs would not be performed as well, our lives would be chaotic, and we would lose the order we are accustomed to. This kind of control makes sense. We need this kind of control in our daily lives.

The type of control in which your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are being manipulated by another person can steal every ounce of who you are. The manipulation is so overpowering that you can begin to suffer shame, guilt, negative self-talk, or lowered self-esteem – at no fault of your own. If you see a continual pattern of this behavior, you are in an unhealthy and one-sided relationship.

Feeling controlled by someone can be one of the worst feelings. We’re individuals with an agency toward self-motivation and freedom. Control “cramps” our ability to explore the world around us, develop and grow in our own ways, and experience our ability to make decisions and learn from them.

Control can dismantle relationships (personal and professional), destroy trust, and make others defensive and resentful toward the perpetrator of control. As we all can probably agree, control must be balanced with boundaries, respect, compassion, understanding, and patience. Wouldn’t you feel better if your boss, spouse, or parent would balance control with patience, boundaries, and respect? Without these things, control becomes bondage and abuse.

It often isn’t easy to point out the control, stand up to it, and say “no more.”

I’m of the firm belief that control is spiritual, as well. It is a power that dominates us far beyond logistics and intelligence. That’s why in domestic violence situations (or even employee-employer relationships) the victim struggles to do exactly what they (and others) know they should do. Fear of abandonment or standing up for oneself is often a key factor in these situations.

 

Why Do You Allow Yourself to Be Controlled?

 

Fear may be present related to one or more of the following:

  • Loss of friendship or camaraderie
  • Loss of opportunity or employment
  • Development of a complicated or inaccurate social status/reputation
  • Argument or confrontation
  • Temporary feelings of discomfort
  • Loss of essentials/basics for living

 

It’s important to be able to identify control and abuse. It can come to you in a sweet way, a dominant way, a bribing way, etc. Narcissism, sociopathy, borderline personality traits, selfishness, and entitlement can show up in many toxic relationships.

Emotional manipulators drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it—their behavior truly goes against reason, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink if you prefer that analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

 

Recommended Reading: 

 

 

See the Signs –

Pay attention to signs of psychological manipulation: do any of these examples sound familiar?

 

Keeping track of you

Unfortunately, there are people who will try their hardest to keep “track of you.” What I mean by this is the person who keeps in contact with you (only to keep lines of communication open) for their own benefit. For example, Bob (a long-time colleague who never liked you) may try to text, email, or find you online or at other social media platforms to see how far you have gotten in your life. His interactions with you may be sporadic and he may not even attempt to contact you more than 1-3x a year. This kind of person may have an intent to use you or manipulate you. It’s important for me to add that they may even “cyber-stalk” you.

 

What to do: In situations such as this, I encourage you to be very careful when it comes to how much you let this person into your world. It’s okay to have boundaries. You can’t 100% trust a person who didn’t like you at first and now wants to connect.  Take baby steps or no steps at all. And that’s ok.

 

 

They befriend you only when it’s convenient for them

Have you known a person who treats you really poorly and doesn’t give you the vibe that they like you, but then one day they begin to smile with you, laugh with you, and embrace you? Be careful. It is true some people can grow more accustomed to you and begin to like you. I’ve had people in my life reject me one minute and then accept me the next because they realized they misjudged me. But there’s always that small group of people who are not misjudging you. They just don’t like you. And that isn’t necessarily your fault!

 

What to do: You can’t fully trust someone who switches from kind to mean; mean to kind. We all have mood swings but I’m not referring to mood swings here. Keep up firm boundaries and be careful with what you tell them. Keep your life private. Do you really need to be an open book?

 

 

They text/email/instant message you with multiple emoticons

This may sound immature and more common to adolescents, but not necessarily.  Emoticons can be a nice way to express your emotions and get a point across. However, there are others who will “abuse” the emoticons as a way to control how you see them and their interactions with you. For example, a heated conversation my be occurring with someone via Facebook and to “control” you the person may litter the entire message with smiley faces, winks, hearts, etc. It throws you off. It can be misleading.

 

What to do: Look beyond the emotional control. Don’t respond to the emoticons unless you feel ok doing so or unless you are well aware of their “game.” I encourage you to also stay away from arguments via social media. Messages have a high possibility of getting mixed or confused via social media. Texting back and forth about emotional topics is also not a good idea. Do it the mature way (i.e., face-to-face or phone).

 

 

They smile with you and interact positively but you get a negative vibe

Women can be very guilty of this as men typically don’t act this way. But if you are interacting with someone who smiles with you, has a positive tone of voice, has positive body language (i.e., leaning toward you, touching you, listening, etc) but you don’t buy it 100%, keep your eyes open. Keep in mind that you could also just be misjudging them, too.

 

What to do: If you sense that someone isn’t being 100% honest with you or may be trying to deceive you, tread lightly. Don’t get caught up in what you hope happens. Be wise in what you share with them about your life and keep firm boundaries until you feel you are able to trust them. Also question why you suspect the person isn’t being honest with you. Are you envious or angry with the person? Do you struggle with trust? Has this person wronged you in the past?

 

 

They loan you something or put you in “charge” but then micromanage you

This is tough. The person may let you borrow some material possession, or money, or put you “in charge” of something and then give you absolutely no space. You’ll want to question if there is a foundation of trust and respect within the relationship.

 

What to do: If you feel the person isn’t trusting you, willing to let you borrow things, or seems as if they don’t care about your feelings, question the relationship. Consider why the person is this way and ask yourself if bringing up your feelings is going to help anything at all. Some people simply don’t trust you and have a need for control. If you feel uneasy with this, bring it up and explain – without being argumentative – that you don’t appreciate their attempts at controlling you.

 

 

You are being monitored like a child

Some people “monitor” those they love and care about for reasons that may be justifiable. In a loving relationship, for example, a husband may monitor his wife when she leaves the house to go shopping. He may call or text her to know of her whereabouts because he cares. However, if someone attempts to control where you are, how long you are away, and what you’re doing to a point where you feel suffocated, demeaned, or humiliated, you’ve got a problem you shouldn’t ignore.

 

What to do: Talk to the person about how they are making you feel and avoid being judgmental, angry, or frustrated when discussing it. The last thing you want to do is ignite a fire unnecessarily. Be calm and express how you feel. If you continue to see a pattern of this behavior, consider whether the relationship is worth it and if you’re likely to experience more controlling behaviors by the person in the future.

 

 

You are micromanaged or “given” an identity

No one likes to be micromanaged because the act itself can imply that you are not capable. However, the truth of micromanagement is that the person who is doing it is only doing it because they have anxiety, insecurities, or a need for control. Micromanagement doesn’t always have something to do with you. Even so, micro-managers are frustrating to say the least. What about people who push their interests onto you in hopes of “transforming” you?

 

What to do: Make it clear that you do not appreciate being micromanaged. You can do this in a variety of ways such as being subliminal (i.e., taking control without permission, answering the micro-manager in a way that displays your ability to take care of your responsibilities, staying on top of your responsibilities, etc). Once micro-managers see that you are in control and not them, they will (in some cases) back off. When it comes to your identity, just be who you are.

 

 

You are bombarded with expectations, rules, or wants by the controller

I have experienced this in multiple cases throughout my life and I can honestly say, this can feel like the worst type of control. Any encounter with this type of person can feel like a job. You also may feel let down time and time again by this person because all of your encounters are negative due to their need to control you in some way. For example, a person like this may see you shopping and instead of coming over to you to talk or say hi, they come over to you with a judgmental attitude, a barrage of questions, or may even ask you for a favor.

 

What to do: Avoid them until you are ready (or strong enough) to take their controlling behavior without getting angry. If you get angry or show any signs of anger, the controller will only flip things on you and blame you. Distance yourself little by little until you feel you are gaining better self-control. Minimize the person’s expectations, rules, or wants and keep in mind that you are only human. Do what you can but avoid feeling responsible for pleasing them. That’s not your job. And if you feel you need to “please” them, consider whether or not the relationship is healthy and worth it.

 

 

Staunch religious or moral/ethical standards are used to guilt-trip you

It is a wonderful thing to see God in operation in your life. It is great to desire God’s principles, values, truths, and desires in your life. But a person who uses these virtues against you to make you feel bad is attempting to control you. A true and loving God would never guilt-trip you. The God I know is steadfast in His precepts but never condescending or harmful.

 

What to do: Keep the truth in the forefront of your mind. Don’t let this type of person guilt-trip you. Now, there is a thing called a “conscience” and if you are feeling guilty about something own that and move on. It’s the only way to grow. But if you have nothing to be guilty about, don’t let this person guilt-trip you.

 

 

Final Thoughts

Once you’ve identified a manipulator, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t.

You can establish boundaries, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you’re bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos.

The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to cross them, which they will. Remember: nobody can manipulate you without your consent and cooperation.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article helpful and empowering. 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

-Laurie

 

Recommended Reading:

Narcissists Exposed: 75 Things Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know by Drew Keys. Read reviews.

 

You may also be interested in:

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

Is Your Guy Still Into His Ex?

How to Get Over Him

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading – Sample Questions

Looking for Love After 40 – It’s Different

Losing a Loved One – Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

How to Choose the Right Diet Plan for Your Unique Life

Science Proves Coffee Slows Down Aging

Find The Best Bathroom Scale for You

Should You Be Taking Probiotics Daily?

The Fix for Cracked Heels

The Best Foot Bath Massagers – Full Reviews

Coloring For Adults is a Healthy Hobby

Are Genetic Testing Services Worth It?

Is the MyPurMist Inhaler Worth Buying?

Does Biosil Actually Do Anything?

 

How to Make Your Man More Romantic

How to Make Your Man More Romantic

 

 

Sick of pining for a really romantic holiday because your guy just doesn’t get it? You are not alone. Many women long for romance but are with men who just doesn’t have a clue how to be romantic.

The thought of romance may trigger sadness and regret at the kind of relationship you’d like to have, but don’t. It may cause you to feel nostalgic for earlier times in your relationship when your partner swept you off your feet, but that doesn’t happen anymore.

If it seems to you that there is no romance in your love relationship or marriage, this could be a cause of bitterness within you and conflict between you and your mate.

 

Romance is Subjective

Men and women certainly have differing definitions about what is sexy or romantic. Generally speaking, women’s sexual fantasies tend to be filled with more romantic interludes then do men’s. Many women find a candlelit bubble bath or spontaneous picnic at dusk to be a great way to get in the mood sexually, as well as a way to express and share their love. This desire for romance begins in girlhood when young women are entranced by the promise of Prince Charming coming to life.

For boys (and later, men), their sexual fantasies tend to focus more directly on sex without all those romantic frills. So it’s not that he loves you less than you love him; it may just be that his expression of love excludes that prelude of chocolate and roses. Another point to consider: Some men have a harder time expressing their deeper emotional feelings, and fear feeling vulnerable if they do.

So now you know why trying to get romance out of your guy is like trying to get blood from a stone. But this doesn’t mean you are stuck with that.

Most women in this situation never say anything to their guy about their need for romance. They figure it won’t help, or they are afraid of expressing their desire for romance, or they fear being rejected or embarrassed in some way.

Also, some women think that romance is only “valid” if it’s a surprise or if it arrives from him without prompting, and if they have to ask for the attention, then the romance is destroyed. All of these excuses prevent you from improving the situation, and they leave him digging himself a deeper and deeper hole.

 

 

Teaching Your Man About Romance

 

 

Romance, Like Most Things, Can be Taught

We ALL learn things by someone telling us how it works, why it works, showing us how they do it and then offering positive reinforcement for doing it ourselves.

Here are some steps you can take to make romance bloom more easily between the two of you:

 

 

Spell It Out

He isn’t a mind reader, so he may not even know what you find romantic! If you just say “do something romantic,” he may feel overwhelmed or insecure and end up doing nothing. Or you could wind up with beer and pretzels, watching football on TV. Be specific — for example, say to him: “It would be really romantic if we could have strawberries and champagne by candlelight while I’m in some pretty new robe that you get me.”

 

Drop Gift Hints

When it comes to presents, it is still very reasonable to tell him what you want (“I think a bracelet would be so romantic. I just love turquoise stones, don’t you?”). If you can’t bear to do that, try putting a little note on his pillow that says: “I really love surprises but am kind of hoping for some earrings this year.” If you trust a girlfriend enough, ask her to call him and tell him what you have been pining for.

Ask for simple things: Don’t ask for expensive gifts or items that are hard to size. And if you have children, don’t bring them into it, because they might end up feeling responsible for your romantic happiness — which is not a good place to be.

 

Be a Role Model

Romance is a two-way street. Be romantic yourself all year long if you want him to be, too. Little gestures go a long way: Touch his face tenderly, spontaneously hug and kiss him while you are out, give him unsolicited massages or put love notes in his briefcase. Even reminiscing about wonderful times you have had together is romantic. As he enjoys these gestures, he will be moved to reply in kind.

 

Be Revealing

If you open up to him, you will create instant intimacy. Try telling him something personal about yourself and your feelings, and ask him then to tell you something in return. This will bring you closer and also decrease his fears of romance. You could trade sexual fantasies, tell each other what you like in bed, or just reveal something that scares you or you have always dreamed of doing. Also, you might try dancing! This a great way to be romantic and intimate at the same time.

 

Give Him Positive Reinforcement

He wants to love you and feel close to you, but he needs to see that romancing you will further his goals. So after you tell him what to do, give him feedback. Tell him how much you liked it, what a turn-on it was, how much you appreciate his doing it and how you really hope he does it again soon — hopefully before next Valentine’s Day.

 

 

Final Thoughts

While it’s helpful to know how you want to be loved, try to be flexible too. Be willing to communicate to your partner what feels romantic to you, but don’t go so far as to dictate or micro-manage a romantic experience that your mate might be trying to provide for you.

It can be a bit of a balancing act. Follow the tips above, give information about what your preferences are,  and invite yourself to appreciate the efforts that your partner is putting into loving you and making you feel special– in his unique way.

Receive the love that’s being offered to you…even if it comes in a slightly different “package” then you had in mind. This will open the door to even more romance to come.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article helpful and empowering.

If you would like to speak with a psychic to help you move toward a more romantic relationship,  I recommend Psychic Access.


Get A FREE Reading Now!

 

All Psychic Access psychics are tested and verified, and you can start with a totally free reading to see if it feels right for you.

 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

 

 

 

Don’t Ignore the Red Flags!

Image result for red flags

 

People are drawn to narcissists because they can be charming and charismatic. In fact, one study showed that their likable veneer was only penetrable after seven meetings. 

Many people find that courtship with their narcissistic partner was wonderful, but abuse soon followed.  With greater insight, however, most people would probably admit that there were signs that were overlooked.

 

 

 

Check Your Blind Spots

 

There are unconscious explanations why you might attracted to a narcissist. Here are some reasons why you might not recognize a narcissist:

 

Image result for love is blind

 

Sexual attraction

The greater the physical attraction and sexual intensity, the easier it is to ignore red flags. Individuals who can see auras maintain that sexual energy literally obfuscates mental and emotional energy — why lust is blind.

 

Seduction

Narcissists are skilled manipulators. Some can be quite seductive, and not just sexually. They may be adept listeners and communicators or allure you with, flattery, self-disclosure, and vulnerability — just the opposite of what you might expect from a narcissist.

 

Idealization

Often narcissists are very accomplished, successful, good-looking, powerful, and/or multi-talented. It’s easy to idealize them and want to share in the benefits of their exceptionalism, especially if you feel inferior. People with low self-esteem, such as codependents, are more likely to idealize someone they admire. They may be drawn to typical narcissistic traits that they themselves lack, such as power and boldness. The downside is that idealization makes us ignore contrary information.

 

Familiarity

If you had a narcissistic parent, being with a narcissist will feel familiar — like family. This attraction happens beneath consciousness and is often referred to as “chemistry.” With personal therapy, this attraction can change so that you easily spot someone who is abusive or self-centered. You might even be repelled instead of attracted to a narcissist.

 

Codependency

If you have low self-esteem or are codependent, you may be unaware of your feelings, which can guide you. You may not feel entitled to respect and having your needs and wants met. Most codependents tend to accommodate and people-please other people — a perfect fit for a narcissist. This predisposition is stronger in early dating when you’re trying to make a good impression. Thus, you might overlook or rationalize feelings of discomfort and anxiety that signal trouble. If something does bother you, you won’t speak up about it and try to forget it.

 

 

Watch For the Red Flags

 

Self Centeredness

For narcissists, the world revolves around them. Other people are only two-dimensional, meaning that narcissists can’t empathize. They’re in their own reality and see you as an extension of themselves to satisfy their needs and wants.

When you talk to your date, is he or she interested in getting to know you, or talk only about themselves? Amazingly, some people do, as if their listener doesn’t exist. This is a tell-tale sign that you will feel invisible in the relationship. If you felt invisible in your family, you might take this for granted. You could possibly feel validated by the attention you give as a good listener. Beware that this pattern will likely continue.

As mentioned above, some narcissists are skilled communicators and will appear fascinated by you, even mirror your interests to make you like them. They may be good at short-term intimacy and make you feel like a king or queen; but eventually, they don’t keep up that act. You’ll discover that their motive is to get what they want; for example, sex, but that they’re not interested in getting to know more about you, your family, problems, or successes.

Be aware of other signs of lack of consideration: walking far ahead of you, making you track them down for a return phone call, arriving late, disregarding your boundaries and needs, or interrupting conversations to take calls from other people.

 

Arrogance

Narcissists feel superior to other people, and can be rude or abusive when don’t get what they want. This is revealed in their behavior and how they talk about themselves and others.

Is your date a fault-finder who criticizes or blames others, the opposite sex, or an ex? One day he or she may be bashing you. When you go out, notice how he or she treats waitresses, car hops, and vendors. Does he or she show other people respect, or act superior to other certain groups, such as minorities, immigrants, or people of less means or education?

Narcissists like to be associated with high-status people and institutions. They think they’re the best and want to surround themselves with the best. This is due to insecurity. Does your date think only his or her school is the best, and require the best car, the best table at the best restaurant, the finest wines, and wear expensive labels, or name drop public figures they know? This may impress you, but will later depress you when you feel ignored or like a prop in their life.

 

A Sense of Entitlement

This trait is a give-away. It reveals how narcissists think that they’re the center of the universe. They not only believe they’re special and superior to others, but also that they deserve special treatment and that rules don’t apply to them.

Does your date refuse to turn off  his or her cell phone at the movies, expect others to do favors, cut in line, steal things like tableware, airline blankets, or hotel ashtrays, or insist on special treatment from the parking attendant, restaurant maitre d’, or waiter? If you’re a woman, does he expect you to drive to his neighborhood? A relationship with this person will be painfully one-sided, not a two-way street.

Narcissists are only interested in getting what they want and making the relationship work for them.

 

Bragging

Although because narcissists want to believe they’re superior and the best, they’re actually insecure. Hence, they need constant validation, appreciation, and recognition.

They seek this by bragging about themselves and their accomplishments. They may even lie or exaggerate. People who brag are trying to convince themselves and you of their greatness.

 

 

Control and Manipulation

Narcissists put their needs first. They may manipulate you with flattery, belittling, or threats. Their lack empathy may show when planning a date. Time and place might be a difficult negotiation or on their terms, especially if they sense that you’re interested in them.

Initially, they may want to please you to win you over, but once they’ve made their “catch,” they want to please themselves. It’s the chase, not the catch that motivates them. Once they’re victorious, they can lose interest, and move on to the next conquest before it gets too emotionally intimate. If not, they’ll be emotionally unavailable and keep you at a distance, because they’re afraid if you get too close, you won’t like what you see.

 

 

Final Thoughts

Listen to what your dates say about themselves and past relationships. Do they take responsibility or blame other people? Pay attention if they admit to serious shortcomings, commitment issues, infidelity, criminality, addiction, or abuse. Equally important, notice if you feel anxious or uncomfortable, pressured, controlled, ignored, or belittled.

Find out about narcissistic relationships, why narcissists are codependent, and why they’re drawn to codependents and vice versa. In recovering from codependency, you’ll build self-esteem, your estimation of your worth will rise, and you’ll expect to be considered, listened to, and treated well. You’ll convey an expectation of respect by maintaining healthy boundaries, by being assertive about your opinions, feelings, needs, and wants, rather than people-pleasing.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article helpful and empowering. 

If you would like to speak with a psychic to help you move toward a happier life,  I recommend Psychic Access.

All Psychic Access psychics are tested and verified, and you can start with a totally free reading to see if it feels right for you.

 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

-Laurie

 

Recommended Reading:

Narcissists Exposed: 75 Things Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know by Drew Keys. Read reviews.

 

You may also be interested in:

How to Stop Being Emotionally Manipulated

Is Your Guy Still Into His Ex?

How to Get Over Him

How to Make Your Man More Romantic

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading – Sample Questions

Looking for Love After 40 – It’s Different

Losing a Loved One – Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

How to Choose the Right Diet Plan for Your Unique Life

Science Proves Coffee Slows Down Aging

Find The Best Bathroom Scale for You

Should You Be Taking Probiotics Daily?

The Fix for Cracked Heels

The Best Foot Bath Massagers – Full Reviews

Coloring For Adults is a Healthy Hobby

Are Genetic Testing Services Worth It?

Is the MyPurMist Inhaler Worth Buying?

Does Biosil Actually Do Anything?

 

 

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading

How to Prepare Yourself for a Psychic Reading

 

 

Approach your reading in a way that will help you get the most benefit.

 

So you’ve been thinking about getting a psychic reading?

If you’ve never had a reading before then like most you’re probably a bit on the skeptical side while at the same time nervous about who and what will come through. There are a few things you can do to prepare for your first psychic reading and a few things you can expect!

A psychic reading is not something that you should go into on a whim. Rather, you should spend some time before your reading preparing yourself emotionally and spiritually for the experience ahead of you. One element of this preparation is coming up with questions that you would like to ask the psychic or psychic medium.

This clarifies your expectations and your motivations for the reading, but also helps to structure the reading so you can get more meaning out of it. Knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them helps you to approach your reading in a way that will help you get the most benefit.

 

 

Ask Your Psychic The Right Questions

 

Avoid Overly Simplified Questions

While you should expect to answer questions that are asked by your psychic or psychic medium with a simple “yes” or “no” in order to avoid sharing too much information, these are the types of questions that you should avoid asking during your reading. Not only do these overly simplified questions give you very little in terms of qualification of the reader’s abilities, but they can also create even more questions than you already have. Getting a “yes” or “no” answer leaves you wondering why that is the answer you got, or worried because it wasn’t the answer you wanted, or falsely comforted by getting the answer you wanted without knowing the important reasons behind it.

Your questions should be open-ended to encourage a more detailed answer that allows you to interpret intuited information. The answers should not be a firm end, but rather an opportunity for you to explore concepts and ideas. When asking your reader questions remember that the purpose of your reading is to guide you, not to tell you what to do or why.

 

Don’t Look for Specifics

While a psychic or psychic medium may have heightened abilities to sense or predict things, they cannot truly tell you the specifics of how your life will unfold. Asking questions that are “when”, “where”, or “who” motivated will only leave you with an unsatisfying answer that could cause you to make decisions you wouldn’t generally make just because you were trying to fulfill the predictions in a way that you want.

For example, if you ask how you are going to meet your future spouse, your reader could be able to tell you that you will meet at work. This answer, however, could leave out the important information that you will be changing jobs, that your future spouse isn’t going to be a coworker, or that you will hate him upon first meeting.

 

Focus on Your Behaviors

Rather than looking for simple answers or being told exactly what you should do, focus on questions that guide your behaviors. Utilizing your own perceptions and intuitions is always better than relying solely on the advice or perceptions of a psychic or psychic medium. This allows you to develop your life based on your own needs and feelings rather than forcing decisions and situations based on answers that are up for interpretation.

 

 

You Hold the Power

 

Regardless of what anyone says, psychic or not, we have the power over our own future. The decisions we make and our actions sum up for what will happen to us, and there is no one who can say otherwise.

Even though it may seem that visiting a psychic reader means giving up control over ourselves and the future, it isn’t the case. In fact, what these readings may help us is to find our path, release any unpleasant incidents that may have occurred in the past, and look forward to a brighter future. This is why,it is important to be sure whether you are ready for a reading.

 

 

Do’s and Don’ts for Your Psychic Reading

 

Dos…

» Keep a clear head. Leave all your worries at home, think positive, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The magic in all of this is that your positive belief towards life, yourself, and the unknown future. I know that many times, thinking positive is out of the question, but that doesn’t mean you have to bring negative thoughts to upset yourself and affect the decisions you make. Remember, there are “possibilities” in “impossibilities”.

 

» Have your questions ready before you visit the reader. You don’t want to be at loss of words during your session because you’ll only be wasting your and the psychic’s time. A good way to be prepared is to write the questions / concerns on index cards, so you don’t get flustered and forget why you visited the psychic in the first place.

 

» Remember, psychic readings take time and can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotional. So if you can, schedule your appointment on the day when you don’t have a lot to do, work or at home. After the reading, you should try to find some alone time and think about what the reading said, and you can incorporate it into your life.

 

» Clarify any doubts you may have. It’s better that all your concerns and queries be cleared at the reading. Spending unnecessary time and money on the same questions is pointless. You don’t want to dwell on the same issue(s) again and again.

 

Don’ts…

» Expect that the psychic will make the decisions for you. What a psychic does is give you a brief look at what you can expect in the future, if you made certain decisions. If you are looking to seek advice as to what you should do about a particular situation, then you’re taking this whole thing in the wrong light. What you should expect are insights, guidance, and information that can help you make a better decision. You are commander of your life, no one else.

 

» Keep quiet and wait around during your session. If the psychic is giving some information about yourself, your past, or anything that is vital, do let him/her know. If there are any discrepancies, don’t just sit there and let the psychic move on. The reading is for your benefit and you want to make sure that you get the most out of it. There can be times when the psychic might go to a different path, talk about some other topics that he/she may feel are critical and strong enough to talk about. Don’t take this as the wrong thing and see to it that your questions are being addressed.

 

» Visit a psychic if you are going there just to prove them wrong. This will accomplish nothing. Many times, people who are skeptic towards psychic reading tend to withhold information about themselves and want to see if the psychic can somehow know it. You are spending your money and time (also the psychic’s) for the session.

 

» Take any alcohol or drugs before your reading. It is advised that you are absolutely sober, for at least 12 hours before your reading. If you want your psychic to read you properly and accurately, nothing should hinder it; you need to have a clear mind.

 

While understanding and knowing how to prepare for a psychic reading, rest assured that whatever happens during a reading, it will remain confidential. So, even if there are certain things you and the psychic talked about, may be embarrassing or you would like to keep to yourself, you don’t have to worry about the information leaking out.

If you are confused about what questions to ask the psychic reader, focus on what you want out of your life. Are there any issues regarding work, home, love life, or finding a spiritual path. When you think in these terms, searching and discovering answers will be much simpler.

 

 

Examples of General Questions

 

Here are some general questions on general topics such as life, relationship, finance and work that you may want to use in order to help you formulate furthers that will delve deeper into such topics.  Remember that these questions are meant to serve as jump points for discussion, and will help your intuitive zone in and focus on one specific aspect of your life.

 

  • Why am I not happy with my life?

 

  • How can I live a better life, full of purpose and happiness?

 

Get a Free Reading Now

 

  • Is the person I’m currently in a relationship with “The One”?

 

  • How can I make my current romantic relationship even better?

 

  • How will I improve my financial situation?

 

  • Am I on the right career path?

 

  • Is shifting careers a wise move considering the current economic climate?

 

  • How will I improve my health?

 

  • What are the things that I should consider dropping, as they are very stressful to me?

 

  • What do I need to do in order to balance my health, mind and spirit better?

 

If you have other concerns and questions that aren’t on the list, feel free to add it to the list of questions that you want to ask your psychic.

 

 

Final Thoughts

There are many very good, ethical, fair, and honest mediums and psychics, and the service which they can render to the seeking soul is, truly, priceless; but you’re reading will be more satisfying if you do your part to prepare your emotions and your questions.

Getting on the road to making yourself a better person is the first step to improving your situation and views, so it’s great that you’re taking steps to self-improvement.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article comforting and helpful. 

When you are ready to try speaking with a psychic or medium to help you move toward a happier life, try a free reading at Psychic Access;  I recommend Psychic Access because their psychics are tested and verified, and because you can start with a totally free reading to see if it feels right for you.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

-Laurie

 

Recommended Reading:

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t by Michael J. Losier. Read reviews. 

 

Over 40 and Looking for Love

Over 40 and Looking for Love?

 

 

Drop the Excuses to Find the  Wonderful Relationship You Deserve

 

If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history. You’ve been in relationships before and you may want one now, but for whatever reason you haven’t found the right person yet.

Maybe you’re divorced and frustrated with dating or haven’t ventured back out to the dating pool. You could be a widow and unsure of ever finding another man like your husband. Perhaps you were in a live-in or long-term relationship that ended, so you’re single again.

Finding love the second time around (or even the first) is not easy. Still, people fall in love every day and many of my clients do find that loving man. So what’s the problem?

This might seem harsh, but you are likely telling yourself several lies about love after 40 that are hurting you. These negative beliefs prevent you from connecting, or worse, stop you from even looking.

You might have limiting ideas about dating, love and men, and it’s time to them turn things around. If you expose and transform those beliefs, opportunities will be created for you to find love again!

 

 

Limiting Beliefs: Are These Lies Stuck in Your Head?

 

All The Good Men Are Taken

This belief is very common.  However, thinking about this statistically, there just has to be good single men available since half the adult population in the U.S. is single.

Men get divorced for the same reason women do; they grew apart from their wives, their wives cheated or circumstances just changed. Some men had their heart broken earlier in life and are just recovering and ready now. There are lots of reasons why good men are single and looking for a woman like you.

The fact is that now, more than any other time in history, there are a lot of people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who are single and looking for love. So don’t believe that there are no good men out there!

 

I’ve Already Had My One Shot at Love

Widows often believe this, particularly if they had a wonderful relationship with their husbands. They come away thinking that they will never find such a good man again. But this is exactly the reason why it is possible; if you found great love once, you can certainly do it again. You have the track record for success. Consider your circumstances differently and recognize that you are a magnet for love, since your energy is filled with loving thoughts from your past.

 

Looking For Love is Too Much Work

Dating is tough and you may reach a point when you feel that it is too exhausting and too much effort. But that feeling is just a symptom of your belief that you don’t think it’s possible to find love.

On the other hand, if you really believe that you will find love, then you know every man you meet brings you one step closer to finding the right man for you. Remind yourself that you are on the path to find love and nothing was going to get in your way.  Dating is a process. Be in it to win to find the love you deserve.

 

I’m Picky About Looks

If you feel this way, you will surely be single for a long time! After 40, the chances of Mr. Right knocking on your door are zero. You are going to have to get off the couch and do your part to cross paths with lots of men.

Image result for looking for romance

Dating is a numbers game so the more men you meet, the better your chances for finding the love you want. Will every man you meet be perfect? Of course not! Most of the men you meet will not be right. But you don’t need them to be because you only need one.

In addition, no man is perfect (and neither are you). The perfect man does not exist; he is a myth and a fairy tale. However, there is a man who is the right one for you.

Get over this idea of perfection or you will stay single.

 

You Compare Men to Your BFFs

Seriously? How could a man ever compare to your girlfriends?

Men are not like women! They are dramatically different. We are not brought up the same, we have different innate skill sets and our brains are wired differently. We may be equals, but that does not make us the same.

Expecting a man to be like your girlfriends means he is bound to fail. Most men will never be as thoughtful or have the same depth of understanding as your girlfriends. That doesn’t mean, however, that men don’t have their own amazing contribution to make to your life. The right man expands and enhances your life in ways your girlfriends never will. My advice is to let go of this idea, because it will prevent you from finding the love you want.

 

You Don’t Trust Men

Women who have been burned by a man (or know people who have) tend to believe this, which is understandable.

Consider whether it can really be true that all men are like this. Mathematically, it is just not possible. There are definitely men who do not cheat, lie or refuse to settle down. Many women have found a fabulous, moral guy, who is not like that.

When you believe that all men are terrible, you will look for evidence that your viewpoint is correct. If you believe men are wonderful, you will see examples to support that.

Start looking for examples of quality men and you will notice that they are all around you.

 

 

 

There Aren’t Any Interesting Men (You Can’t be Serious!)

If you haven’t met any interesting men, then you aren’t out there actually meeting men!  Also, many women find nice men to be boring and bad boys to be interesting. Yes, a bad boy’s unpredictable and aloof personality does make him intriguing and you want to unravel the mystery. He becomes a challenge for you to win over. However, a bad boy won’t change his stripes for you and won’t be good relationship material. If you insist on dating bad boys, count on heartbreak and torturous love affairs that do not satisfy.

 

There Aren’t Any Single Men Around

This is similar to the lie that all the good men are taken but with a local spin. Granted, some areas do have more married than single people. But overall, 50% of adult Americans are not hitched, so they must live near you, too.  Your pessimism may have diminished your ability to notice men.

 

Men Don’t Really Want to Be in a Relationship

Let’s refer to the lie about all men being liars, cheaters and players; obviously, generalizations don’t hold much water. While not all men want a long-term relationship, there are certainly some who do.

If you want love, you need to do your part to meet plenty of men and screen them. One way to know if a man is serious about finding love is the way he talks about his life and dating. For example, if the guy you meet mentions moving or how much he loves women, he’s probably not ready settle down. If he says he’s tired of dating, he might be more serious about finding love.

There are definitely men out there who would be thrilled to fall in love with you, but you need to do your part.

 

I Don’t Have Time to Date

This is something women tell themselves constantly. Yes, you are busy. But you make time for what you decide is important.

To find love, you’ll need to make it a priority. Carve time out of your calendar at least once a week to meet new people. If you cannot do that, you don’t really want to find love.

You need to create the space in your schedule to find the love you want. If you say you just don’t have it, I understand. But you also need to admit that love is not a priority for you. There is no shame in that because finding love takes effort and requires a strong desire to take the necessary steps.

 

Get Some Insight

If you’re open to the idea, one of the most important things a psychic can do is help you learn more about yourself, which in turn, will help you be better prepared to look for a mate. Psychics can actually help reveal qualities that you didn’t even know you possessed.

A good psychic can also help you discover what traits in a prospective lover are most important to you, including characteristics that perhaps you never thought about. She can tell you which personality traits will complement your own, and what type of companion will best serve as your other half.

I recommend Psychic Access, because the psychics are all verified and tested, and you can experience a free reading to try it out.

 

 

Final Thoughts

Finding love over 40 can be challenging.  But with an optimistic, proactive attitude on your part, it’s certainly doable – women over 40 are finding successful relationships every day. You can do this!

 

Recommended Reading:

Attract Love at Any Age: The Ultimate Dating Guide for Single Women After 40 by Marlene Wagner. Read reviews.

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope this article provided you some helpful ideas and a plan to find the love you deserve (whatever age you are!).

I welcome your comments below.

-Laurie

 

 

You may also be interested in:

Simple Steps to Younger Looking Skin (Things That Actually Work!)

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

Losing a Loved One – Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading – Sample Questions

How to Stop Being Emotionally Manipulated

Is Your Guy Still Into His Ex?

How to Get Over Him

Choosing the Right At-Home Chemical Peel for Your Skin

Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

Can a Psychic Medium Help You With Grief?

 

Image result for grief

 

Spiritual mediums help bridge the gap between the living and those who have passed. 

 

There is no emotion as intense and painful as grief. When you lose someone close, feelings of loss, loneliness and despair are beyond anything you have felt before. Grief is primal, raw, rasping and engulfing. Emotions wash over you uncontrollably. One minute you are empty and dead inside. The next you are full of hatred for the illness, accident, perpetrator or old age that took your loved one from you. The intensity takes your breath away. Many people find comfort in the presence and services of a psychic medium;  a psychic reading can help you grieve, and how it can offer you hope… and the strength to keep going.

When we lose a loved one, our lives change. But it doesn’t have to be a long, never ending dark tunnel. After the shock, confusion, surrealism and deep sadness start to lift as we go through the grief process, there can be rejuvenation–a new lease on life. But it’s important to accept that you’re in a new reality and there is a new relationship with your loved one and a new relationship with yourself.

Meeting or speaking to a psychic medium is one way of taking the first few steps toward acceptance. A good psychic or spiritual (the terms are interchangeable) medium helps you understand your loved one is always near. Even though you cannot feel their physical presence, they are with you. Learning you are wrapped in love is comforting beyond measure. Knowing that you will always be connected is so reassuring. Somehow, you receive the strength to carry on with your life and even begin to feel good about it.

 

 

 

When is the Right Time for a Psychic Reading?

 

It’s best to wait a little while before contacting a psychic reader. At the very beginning, you might feel you need to cling to some remnant or spirit of the one who has died. Yet, now, you may not be able to listen to the message. Give it some time – how long is dependent upon how you are feeling. Once you feel ready to make contact, you will know it.

If you can wait until the rawness and shock that comes from a death has settled a little then you and the spirit communicator will be able to build a much more stable bridge of love between the two worlds and the medium’s work will be much more accurate and evidential. Try to wait at least three months before setting out on your spiritual quest. And remember that sometimes it can take a long time to get the absolute proof you need that life continues after death but persevere as you will eventually get the comforting proof you need.

One thing you shouldn’t do is become addicted to psychic readings. Some people live their lives through readings and become completely immersed in the spirit world. They are wholly focused on their next ‘fix’. Unless you are a medium yourself, you should avoid this. You still have a life to live in this world.

In the same vein, you should also avoid hopping from one psychic to another. Each will have their own style and you could become confused and disillusioned. Create a good relationship with one, possibly two, but no more than that.

 

 

 

Frequency of Readings

 

If you are wanting to touch base with your loved one; making sure all is well with them, once or twice a year is fine. Of course, it depends on the individual. Some have written books and websites about their experiences with the psychic world, so are happy to have an ongoing dialogue. As long as it doesn’t become an addiction, as described above, there’s no problem in keeping in touch as necessary.

Anniversaries, Christmas, birthdays and Valentines are good occasions to have a psychic reading. But don’t book a reading for someone else because you think it will make a great surprise gift for them. It may well be exactly what they want, but do ask them first.

 

 

 

Steps to Ease Your Spirit As You Grieve

 

Surrender

We can’t control the fact that we’ve lost someone we love. And we can’t bring them back. But we can move forward into a more peaceful state of being. Surrendering is letting go of the pain (even for a moment) so you can live in the present. It knows that something bigger than ourselves is protecting us.

Whenever you feel that wave of grief, surrender to it. When you’re overwhelmed, see the word “surrender” in your mind’s eye. Say, “I surrender” to yourself.  This will act as a reminder to let go for a moment.

 

Forgive Yourself

You may have guilt around your loved one’s death. You may feel responsible, blaming yourself for not doing enough. We must remember that this was their life’s path. To move through the grief it is important to forgive yourself so you can free yourself to heal.

 

Connect With Your Loved Ones

If you are open to the idea that their spirit is alive, there are many ways to connect with your loved one. Going to a Spiritual Medium is a great way to do that. Many have found solace in the messages they receive from their loved one on the “other side.” 

You can also connect with them on your own, in your daily life. The key is to send them love and light energy. As you heal yourself through the grieving process you may find a deeper connection to your loved one. There may be signs and messages that occur. Stay open and aware. Talk to your loved one. They want to connect with you if your heart is open.

 

Nurture Yourself

It is so important to take care of yourself. Take time to take care of YOU. Remember you are still here and there is life ahead of you. There is joy to be experienced. Do the things that make you the happiest right now. Even if it’s something small like going for a walk, watching a favorite movie over and over, or making your favorite dish and eating it with a loved one.

 

Meditate

There is nothing more powerful we can do than meditation. It quiets the mind, energizes the soul and creates a more peaceful state of being. It can be the anchor that gets you through your day. Find a meditation that works for you. From Passage Meditation to Transcendental Meditation. Try and practice it every day even if it’s for a few minutes. Start with 5 or 10 minutes. And work up to longer sessions or more frequent sessions.

 

Dream of Them

When you go to sleep ask your loved one to visit you in your dreams. Think about them. Send them love. It is thought that when we dream of our loved ones who have passed on, it is their way of communicating with us.

 

Create

Keep a journal, write and recite poetry, paint a picture, take a photograph, make jewelry, sculpt, sing, act, even create a memory book of your loved one. Whatever your creative passion or interest is, tap into it. Even if it’s a very small creative project. Creating connects us to our deeper selves. That’s where the healing is.

 

Garden

Gardening is giving life. The process of watering and nurturing is healing. Watching a plant or a garden grow will create a peaceful state of mind. You can even grow your loved one’s favorite plant of flower. Talk to your loved one while you are gardening. Feel their presence.

 

Exercise

When we exercise, it releases endorphins, which expedites feelings of happiness. Find an exercise you love to do. The deep breathing associated with exercise can also release pent up sadness and trigger tears that need to come out. It’s a healthy sign to emote and can help get you through the grieving process.

 

Ritualize

Creating ritual around the memory of a loved one is a powerful way to keep them with us. After all, that’s what most of us want. We miss them. We want to feel their presence. The ritual can be whatever you want it to be. It can be an altar-like corner in your home. Or you can create an “active altar” by doing an activity as you remember them. Perhaps something they loved to do. Or you both loved to do together.

 

Pray

Asking for guidance and support is important now. Prayer is a powerful way to attain that. Remember when you pray, don’t just say words in a rote fashion, feel your feelings. That is where the power is. Just the practice of saying a prayer can help navigate your grieving because it is an action step and a tool toward healing.

 

Get Support

Getting outside help from bereavement groups and therapists is important and can help you deal with the stages of grief. It’s especially important if you find yourself in an ongoing depression. This is a fragile time and it’s essential that you seek the help you need.

 

Final Thoughts

You will never “get over” the loss (don’t let anyone tell you that you will). This is an experience that will live with you for the rest of your life. But you can take this difficult time and create a positive outcome. You can find a way to put your loss and the memory of your loved in a special place in your heart that you carry with you from this moment on.

To move beyond your grief can be a journey of self-discovery– to see yourself and your life in a new way. But, the way to move through and beyond the grief process requires that you are open and that you take action.

Remember. This is YOUR journey. This is a time to explore who YOU are. The grief you are experiencing does ease with time. And take all the time you need to get through this life challenge. Be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with positive, loving people and great experiences. And you may find that your heart has opened to a wonderful new life as you carry the memory of your loved one forever.

 


Get A FREE Reading Now!

 

Thanks for visiting and reading …

I hope you found this article comforting and helpful. 

When you are ready to try speaking with a psychic medium to help you find peace with your loss, try a free reading at Psychic Access;  I prefer Psychic Access because their psychics are tested and verified, and because you can start with a totally free reading to see if it feels right for you.

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

 

-Laurie

 

 

You may also be interested in:

Preparing Yourself For a Psychic Reading – Sample Questions

Natural Help for Sadness and Depression

How to Stop Being Emotionally Manipulated

Get Gardening to Lose Weight and Gain Health

How to Choose The Right Diet Plan

The Best Elliptical Machines Reviewed

Should You Buy an Electric Bike?

Find The Best Bathroom Scale for You

Should You Be Taking Probiotics Daily?

Best Treadmills for Seniors Home Fitness

The Fix for Cracked Heels

The Best Foot Bath Massagers – Full Reviews

Coloring For Adults is a Healthy Hobby

Are Genetic Testing Services Worth It?

Is the MyPurMist Inhaler Worth Buying?

Red Palm Oil Lowers Cholesterol

How to Find the Right Pair of Reading Glasses

Does Biosil Actually Do Anything?

Detailed Review of the SoClean CPAP Cleaner

Midlife Medical Screening Tests That Women Over 50 Need

About Me

Create Your Own Blog

Natural, Effective Treatments for Male Impotence

Natural, Effective Treatments for Male Impotence

 

 

Many herbs show potential to be effective in improving men’s sexual function.

 

 

Erectile dysfunction is a condition that affects a man’s ability to achieve or maintain an erection suitable for sex.

The condition can affect men at any age, but according to the American Academy of Family Physicians, erectile dysfunction (ED) is most common when a man is 75 years or older.

Recent innovations in medical treatments mean that there are now more medications available to reduce ED. However, some men prefer to take herbal supplements as an alternative.  Image above: Nutriflair Horny Goat Weed Sexual Energy Complex.

Many herbs show potential to be effective in improving men’s sexual function, however, people should always exercise caution when taking any form of herbal supplementation.

The United States government does not monitor herbs, so use due diligence, and always purchase your herbal supplements from a reputable manufacturer.

 

 

Here Are the Herbs That Can Improve Erectile Dysfunction:

 

Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) for Male Impotence

 

What is it: DHEA is a supplement that mimics a natural steroid hormone in the body and may help treat ED in men.

DHEA supplements mimic the action of a natural steroid hormone.

The dosages for DHEA vary from person to person. Some men take between 20 and 75 milligrams (mg) for about 6 months, while others may take between 100 to 400 mg for up to 8 weeks.

How does it work: Natural DHEA levels subside as a person ages. Increasing the amount of adrenal hormone may help the body create hormones that improve sexual functions as well as energy levels.

Research: A 1999 study published in the journal Urology showed that DHEA treatment improved sexual performance. However, the study was a very small one.

Side effects: DHEA is usually safe when taken in low doses. However, acne can be a side effect.

 

 

 

Horny Goat Weed (Epimedium) for Male Impotence

 

What is it: This Chinese herb has been used to reduce the causes associated with sexual dysfunction, including erectile dysfunction. Women may also take it to reduce the incidence of painful intercourse and loss of libido.

How does it work: Researchers do not know the exact mechanism by which Horny Goat Weed works. But scientists believe it alter the levels of certain hormones in the body, which may in turn improve sexual performance.

Research: Taking horny goat weed hasn’t been studied in people. However, a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine studied the effect of a purified extract of epimedium on rats. It found that rats who received the extract of Horny Goat Weed demonstrated greater incidences of blood flow than those who did not.

Side effects: Using this herb could affect a person’s heart function. Those with heart disease should not take it as it can cause irregular heartbeat. The medication can also interact with other drugs.

 

 

 

Gingko Biloba for Male Impotence

 

What is it: Ginkgo biloba is an herb that practitioners have used for thousands of years to treat a number of health conditions. Examples include dementia, anxiety, and poor blood flow to the brain.

Ginkgo has been used to treat many health conditions. Some believe it may improve blood flow to the male sexual organs.

How does it work: Proponents of taking ginkgo biloba for erectile dysfunction believe ginkgo dilates blood vessels to promote blood flow to the sexual organs.

Research: The Mayo Clinic rank the evidence for ginkgo in treating erectile dysfunction a “C,” meaning that there is unclear scientific evidence for the herb’s use.

According to Columbia University, ginkgo biloba may be effective in helping treat sexual dysfunction that has been caused by taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), medications prescribed to treat depression.

Side effects: Ginkgo can increase the risk for bleeding, and people who take blood thinners should not take it.

Other side effect risks include nausea, headache, stomach upset, and mouth irritation.

 

 

 

L-Arginine for Male Impotence

 

What is it: L-arginine is an amino acid that scientists in the 1800s first isolated from animal horn. It is incorporated into supplements to increase the amount of nitric oxide in the body.

How does it work: When taken in high doses, l-arginine can stimulate blood vessels to become larger. This improves blood flow, which could help a man get an erection.

Research: L-arginine is often combined with glutamate and yohimbine hydrochloride as a treatment for ED.

In one study published in the Journal of Sexual and Marital Therapy, researchers gave participants a combination of l-arginine and pycnogenol, a supplement derived from pine bark.

After treatment for 3 months, 92.5 percent of the 40 men enrolled who experienced ED reported achieving a normal erection.

Side effects: Side effects of taking l-arginine can include stomach upset, including cramping and diarrhea. The supplement can also adversely interact with taking the medication Viagra.

 

 

 

Red Ginseng for Male Impotence

 

What is it: Red Ginseng is an herb that Korean herbal practitioners promote for its ability to treat erectile dysfunction. Another name for red ginseng is Panax ginseng.

There are several theories as to why red ginseng might help treat erectile dysfunction. More research is required to support these theories.

How does it work: Researchers aren’t exactly sure how red ginseng reduces erectile dysfunction symptoms.

One theory is that it influences hormones responsible for achieving an erection. Another is that it promotes blood flow through increasing the amount of nitric oxide.

Research: A 2008 review published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that red ginseng was often more effective than placebo when reducing ED symptoms.

However, human studies usually have a small sample size, which makes it difficult for researchers to draw firm conclusions on the benefits of red ginseng.

Side effects: Taking red ginseng can cause insomnia. However, researchers largely regard it as safe when taken on a short-term basis.

 

 

 

Yohimbine for Male Impotence

 

What is it: Yohimbine is a supplement made from the bark of an African tree. Before medications such as Viagra, doctors often recommended yohimbine as a treatment for ED.

How does it work: Yohimbine works by triggering receptors in the body that trigger the release of the hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine. These can block the effects of other compounds that may otherwise constrict the blood vessels in the penis.

Research: The American Urological Association do not recommend taking yohimbine as a treatment for ED because of its many side effects. However, it has been shown to enhance libido and sexual motivation in animal studies.

Side effects: Taking this supplement is associated with many side effects. Examples include high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, and anxiety. Men should not take yohimbe without consulting their doctor first.

 

 

 

Don’t Hesitate to Check With Your Doctor

 

Men should not be afraid to see their doctor about ED if they experience it.

There are many medications, lifestyle changes, and even counseling that could help a man reduce the incidence of ED. If he wishes to, and has discussed the treatment with his doctor, he may even wish to take an herbal supplement to reduce ED.

A man should see his doctor about his ED if he has experienced changes in sexual desire, changes in erectile function after taking a new medication, or other changes in sexual function.

The condition is very treatable. Men should never be afraid to talk to their doctor about ED as sometimes the condition can indicate an underlying medical condition that should also be treated.

 

Many potential causes of ED exist. These include:

  • anxiety
  • atherosclerosis, a condition that causes a buildup of plaque in the arteries
  • chronic kidney disease
  • depression
  • diabetes
  • heart and blood pressure-related conditions
  • history of injury to the penis or surrounding organs
  • stress
  • taking certain medications, such as antidepressants, antihistamines, appetite suppressants, and tranquilizers

Achieving and maintaining an erection requires several things to happen. These include sensory stimulation, increased blood flow, increased blood pressure in the penis, and the contraction of muscles in the penis. If one or more of these steps are interrupted, ED can occur.

 

 

Thanks for visiting and reading … I hope this article provided you some helpful ideas.  I welcome your comments below.

-Laurie

 

 

 

You may also be interested in:

Should You Buy an Electric Bike?

The Best Elliptical Machines Reviewed

Find The Best Bathroom Scale for You

Should You Be Taking Probiotics Daily?

Best Treadmills for Seniors Home Fitness

Important Seniors’ Nutritional Supplements Reviewed

The Fix for Cracked Heels

The Best Foot Bath Massagers – Full Reviews

Top 10 Massage Chairs – Full Reviews

Shoes and Slippers For Swollen Feet

Coloring For Adults is a Healthy Hobby

Are Genetic Testing Services Worth It?

Is the MyPurMist Inhaler Worth Buying?

Red Palm Oil Lowers Cholesterol

How to Find the Right Pair of Reading Glasses

Does Biosil Actually Do Anything?

Detailed Review of the SoClean CPAP Cleaner

About Me

Create Your Own Blog

 

 

Anytime Gifts That Seniors Will Actually Use

Anytime Gifts That Seniors Will Actually Use

 

 

 

Coming up with gift ideas for grandparents or elderly parents can be a real headache for many people. Most grandparents have more stuff than they could possibly ever use.

There is nothing they need and very little they want. So, what do you give someone who has almost everything, and their house is already full of family photos, albums, personalized mugs, slippers and bath oils?

Here are some gift giving suggestions to get you started. Those gift ideas are perfect for any occasion.

Independence is a thing that seniors – and everyone, for that matter – really tend to value very highly. Maintaining independence promotes a sense of achievement that for many older people generates a great sense of self-worth and well-being.

The key to maintaining a senior’s independence is to keep them safe and one of the basic areas of safety is their home. This makes assistive devices very good gift ideas.

 

 

 

For the Bathroom 

 

 

For seniors who have difficulty bending or limited mobility due to an injury, the bathroom is probably the most dangerous room of the house. Bathroom accessories, like bathtub grips, can provide a sense of security when using the shower and would be really appreciated. Make sure to offer to help install these handles for them.

There are several types of grips you can get, but probably some of the best ones are those that lock over the side of the bathtub. Unlike other grab bars that use suction cups for attachment, the ones that clamp into the bathtub wall will not slip out of position.

 

 

 

Example: This Medline Bathtub Bar locks to the side of the tub

 

 

 

For the Kitchen

 

While the kitchen is often referred to as the “heart of the house,” it can be a very dangerous place for our aging loved–ones. While cooking fires happen to all people of all ages, older adults have a higher risk of injury from these, in part, due to the fact that their responses and physical abilities diminish as they grow older. In fact, according to the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), people over the age of 65 have a 2.5 times greater risk of dying in a kitchen fire than the general population.

Cooktops and ranges are most frequently implicated in kitchen accidents. Elderly people are more likely to forget to turn burners off after removing pans, leave food unattended on the burner or lose track of cooking times. Others that have arthritis or Parkinson’s disease can easily spill food and ignite a fire.

This makes an induction cooktop another practical gift idea for seniors who say they don’t want anything. The elderly or disabled will really appreciate the safety factor of induction cooking since there are no open flames and nothing will catch on fire. With induction cooking there is no direct heating of the cooktop surface.

Only the pot gets hot, so spilled food will never burn. This also makes it very easy to clean. Another big plus – these cooktops cook faster than gas and electric cooktops, which saves energy and money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For Organizing Medications

 

An inexpensive way to help an older person remain healthy and independent is to support them in taking their medication every day. Managing medications can be a challenge for many old people, especially when certain prescriptions must be taken at specific times during the day. This task can be even more daunting for people with multiple diseases who often end up taking multiple medications at the same time. The more drugs they use, the more likely they are not to remember to take them.

One gift that can help simplify medication management, giving peace of mind and maximizing independence, is a pill organizer. They come in a variety of styles, from daily to monthly storage options, and variety of sizes.

Ask your elderly parents or find out how many pills they need to take and look for an organizer that has compartments big enough for them. Also, find a pill organizer that is easy to open, because many older people struggle with so-called “child proof” tops.

The MedCenter 31 Day Pill Organizer with Reminder System is a great option, because you need to set it up for them only once a month. It can also be combined with a reminder system, to make sure your older parents are taking their pills on time. The reminder system is a talking alarm clock that is easy to read even with impaired eyesight and easy to hear even with hearing problems. It also gives people, whose memories may not be what they used to be, useful reminders of what date and day of the week is.

 

 

 

Help With Groceries

 

An interesting gift option for elderly people who have everything is a voice-activated grocery and errand list organizer. Sometimes people forget things, like what they wanted to buy from the store, end up with a diet that resembles the worst of hospital food – microwave meals and frozen foods. An organizer like that can be very helpful.

The Smart Shopper Grocery List Organizer is a device that records your items, sorts them into separate categories and then prints a paper list that you take with you to the store. A person simply has to press a button and say what they need to purchase.

The sorting option can be very useful for seniors, because everything they need from each area in the grocery store will be grouped together and they won’t need to aimlessly wander the isles to find an item. Another handy feature is its magnetic back, which allows to keep the organizer on the fridge door.

The device has almost 2500 items in its database, but there are not all just grocery items. There are many errand items such as: Gas Station, Pay Bills, Dentist, FedEx, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home Cooked Meals

 

Home-cooked meals are so appreciated by older people who live alone or in an assisted living facility. Prepare several of their favorite meals and freeze them in portions so they can take them out easily and only have to re-heat them. If your grandparents live relatively close to you, you can make a gift certificate inviting them for one dinner a month at your home for a year. Offer to pick them up and drive them home, too!

Have some disposable take-out containers on hand, so they don’t have to worry about washing or returning your casserole dishes.

 

 

 

Better Sleep

 

Quality sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being. In fact, sleep is as essential as food, and creating healthy sleeping patterns is just as important as eating right. Unfortunately, some of the most common problems the older generation experience are insomnia and sleep issues. An awesome gift that can help them deal with sleep disorders is a Sleep Sound Machine. Those machines play calming nature sounds that help people fall asleep faster, relax, or just block out distracting noises.

Since audio quality is very important part of masking distracting sounds, it is better to get a sleep machine with really good speakers. One such machine is Sound+Sleep High Fidelity Sleep Sound Machine. In fact, Sleep+Sounds has all of the features you could possibly want in a sound machine – 30 rich and immersive non-repeating sound environments, adaptive Sound listens to your environment and responds instantly by adjusting audio volume, front panel lighting automatically dims for distraction-free rest, and a sleep timer.

This machine is also tiny and light, meaning that seniors can take it with them whenever they visit family or go on holidays.

 

 

 

For Mood and Well-Being

 

Older people, and those who are homebound or bed-ridden, sometimes don’t get outside enough and don’t get exposed to enough natural light, which can disrupt their sleep-wake cycle. If you are looking for a good, useful gift for an elderly parent or grandparent like that, consider getting them a light therapy lamp, such as the SunTouchPlus Lamp from Nature Bright.

These lamps mimic the brightness of the sun, stimulating the body’s production of vitamin D, and thus, boosting mood and well-being. In a way, they work like antidepressants, but without the side effects of the medications. They can also help those who suffer from winter blues, which makes them great gifts for Christmas, too.

When you look for a light therapy lamp, you need to make sure it emits 10,000 lux of light. “Lux” is a measurement of the intensity of light and 10,000 lux is the optimum light level that best mimics natural outdoor light. This means that it can be used for shorter time periods than a lamp that is not as bright. For comparison, the light on a typical, overcast day can be between 1,000 and 2,000 lux and on a very bright, sunny day – between 32,000 and 100,000 lux.

If you find a product that offers intensities higher than 10,000 lux, you should know that intensities higher than 10,000 lux have not been studied for safety or efficacy.

 

 

 

 

Healthy Food Delivery

 

All of us would like to have our parents and grandparents around as long as we possibly can, so a healthy food delivery is another excellent gift choice. Sign your grandparents or elderly parents up for a food delivery membership, for example, and every month they will receive a package of the best orchard-fresh fruit of each season. It will not only make you happy to know that they will have something healthy to eat delivered every month, but you will be amazed how much your grandmother or grandfather will love this gift idea. Depending on their tastes, you can also sign them up for a cheese club, coffee or tea club of the month.

 

Examples:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, this is neat …   Old Time Candy Company sells nostalgic candy from eras past: you can select the decade you grew up in and purchase the candy you remember having as a kid!  It’s a real trip!

 

 

Candy you ate as a kid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memory Journals

 

Grandparents love to be sentimental and brag about their kids and grandkids, and when a holiday comes around, they often get overloaded with framed family photos and albums. Although seniors love receiving these photos, they probably have enough already and will enjoy getting a different sentimental gift.

A nice way to express your love for them is to show interest in their life’s journey. Give them a memory journal, for example. A memory journal is a book that contains all kind of memory-jogging questions about person’s life, and makes it easy for a senior to write his or her life story by answering those questions right in the book. This is a great way for them to record their life stories and pass them to the next generations.

 

 

Some good memory journals that will make fantastic gifts are:

 

Story of My Life

Memories for My Grandchild: A Keepsake to Remember

Grandma Tell Me Your Story

Grandfather Remembers

 

 

 

 

Shopping Cart with Seat

 

Whether they are making a trip to the corner store, the farmers market, carrying stuff to friends’ house or waiting in line at the pharmacy to fill a prescription, a senior will appreciate the convenience of a carrying cart with a built-in seat.

 

Such a cart would also be a very nice gift idea for anyone who lives in a crowded urban area and uses public transportation when grocery shopping or enjoys going to local street fairs or other events where seating is limited.

There are many carts on the market.  This Trolly Dolly Stair-Climbing Foldable Handcart with Built-in Seat is a nice choice;  its rubber wheels have a large arc triangular support, and its a sturdy cart made or steel pipe.  The seat can support 300 lbs, and it has a non-slip hands and waterproof, odor-free fabric.

 

Folds Easily into a Compact Design

 

Strong, Comfortable Seat – 300 lb Capacity

 

Handy Step For Reaching High Items

 

 

 

Massage Pillow

 

Elderly people often suffer from a variety of age-related diseases such as arthritis, diabetes or heart disease. As a result, they have poor circulation and limited physical capability. Massage can help them relieve muscle pain, joint stiffness, poor blood circulation and even mental stress.

If your elderly parents or grandparents suffer from back aches and neck pains, then a massage pillow would be an amazing gift for them.

One massage pillow worth considering is the Etekcity Shiatsu Massager. This pillow reliefs pain using Shiatsu massage technique. Shiatsu (meaning “finger pressure”) is a form of massage that originated in Japan and applies gentle but firm pressure with the thumbs, hands, knees and elbows to different points on the body.

The pillow uses 4 rotating balls to provide deep-kneading motion, and heating elements to relax the muscles even further. The rotating balls do a pretty good job of simulating the kneading fingers of a professional massage therapist.

Because of its compact size, the Etekcity Shiatsu Massager pillow can apply concentrated pressure to specific areas of the body like the neck, shoulders, lower back, feet, calves etc., which are problematic areas for many people. Another excellent aspect of this massage pillow is its portability. It can be used almost anywhere – on different types of chairs, sofas and car seats.

 

 

 

Hobby Baskets

 

Many older people have hobbies they love. Do a little snooping to find out what the senior on your gift list enjoys making. You might find a gift idea or two.

If grandma likes crafts, put together a nice gift basket with a hot glue gun, scissors, glue sticks, and other crafting supplies that she can use in different projects.

You can do the same for your grandpa and his favorite hobbies. 

 

If they are not really able to enjoy active hobbies anymore (like fishing or golfing), get them a subscription to a related magazine so they can read about them.

 

Some Magazine Ideas:

 

 

 

 

 

Encouraging grandparents to take up new hobbies, or revisit old ones, can improve their quality of life.

 

 

For Gardening

 

For those seniors who still have access to a vegetable or flower garden, yard or patio, useful gardening accessories can make fantastic gifts.

 

Some Ideas:

 

Garden kneelers can prevent knee-pain while weeding.

 

Example: Ohuhu Garden Kneeler and Seat with Bonus Tool Pouch

 

 

 

 

Ergonomic gardening tools, including clippers, are easier for older hands to use.

Example: UKOKE Ergonomic Garden Tool Set for Men and Women

 

 

 

Comfortable gardening gloves and gardening clogs can extend the time spent in the garden.

Meadow Design (5)

These attractive Meadow Design Gardening Clogs by Backdoor Shoes have an extra comfortable arch support.

 

 

Lightweight hoses are easier to coil up and put away.

 

 

Plant markers and packs of seeds are always appreciated!

 

 

And speaking of seeds, this White Mountain Garden Seeds Puzzle is a stunning vintage montage.  It 1,000 extra large pieces; a puzzle lover who gardens would surely enjoy it!

 

This White Mountain Garden Seeds Puzzle is gorgeous! It includes 1,000 extra large pieces.

 

 

If your parents or grandparents are retired farmers, who always obsess over the weather because it dominates their livelihood, or if they’re simply weather buffs, they will probably be happy to receive something useful, like a remote rain gauge, as a gift. It is a handy unit that can help them with their garden irrigation needs without getting wet or simply help them stay on top of the local weather situation.

 

A very cool gift for the weather buff – This Ambient Weather WIFI Observer Solar-Powered Wireless WiFi Remote Monitoring Weather Station also has Solar Radiation and UV indicators.

 

 

Even a very simple gift, such as boot jack (or boot remover), can be really useful for gardeners, farmers and those who live in rural areas. The elderly will find this little gadget handy for slipping off their boots or shoes before entering the house.

 

 

For Watching TV

 

Watching television and movies can be such a pleasure as we get older. For older people who live with others, however, it can be difficult to negotiate a volume that works for everyone. An excellent gift that will allow people with hearing loss to listen at their own volume without disturbing anyone else is a TV listening device.

 

 

There are a number of TV listening devices on the market that can help an elderly person hear the TV better, but the best options available today are the wireless radio frequency systems. There are others that use infrared technology instead of radio frequency, but they have a drawback that can be very annoying. An infrared signal is “line of sight,” which means a person needs to be in front of the transmitter, with nothing in the way, in order to hear the TV properly. If they turn their head to the side, to look out of the window, for example, they will lose the audio for a second. In comparison, a radio frequency signal can transmit through walls or obstructions.

The Unisar TV listening devices are some of the best options, because they use wireless radio frequency digital technology (mono or stereo), which means that a person can walk into another room and will still be able to hear the TV. Another useful feature that a senior would appreciate in these devices is the built-in microphone that amplifies the sounds around you, thus, allowing them to also hear conversations in the room.

 

 

 

Brain Training Games

 

Brain-training games are great gifts for elderly people. Just as everyone can benefit from exercising their body, brain training can help seniors improve their memory, awareness, reasoning, and other cognitive skills. Whether these games delay dementia is still unclear, but constant brain challenges are certainly better than just watching TV.

 

Some Examples:

 

Brain Games® #1: Lower Your Brain Age in Minutes a Day (Brain Games (Numbered))

Brain Games® #1: Lower Your Brain Age in Minutes a Day

 

 

 

Home Satellite Radio

 

 

A nice gift idea for an older couple that lives in the suburbs, or in an isolated rural community, is a home satellite radio and SiriusXM subscription. They usually don’t have as many choices, in terms of radio channels, as people living in big cities. With a home satellite radio they can enjoy tons of channels with, sports, news, talk radio, or their favorite music, especially if they spend a lot of time at home.

 

 

 

Other Inexpensive and Useful Gifts

Some people may feel that gift vouchers are impersonal, but older generations welcome them with open arms. They are useful and most importantly, they are clutter-free gifts. If you have grandparents or elderly parents who are on a fixed income, get them pre-paid cards for their favorite restaurant or for the grocery store.

Do a little snooping to find out what your elderly relative enjoys and uses the most. Many businesses that you may not expect to do in fact offer gift certificates, including:

  • Veterinarians
  • Pharmacies
  • Hair salons
  • Pet food stores

 

 

Some Examples:

 

 

 

 

When All Else Fails

 

battery charger

grocery delivery

prescription pick-up

paying a utility, newspaper or cable bill

breakfast or lunch in a restaurant

take their car for a wash and wax

pay someone to do their yard work

pay someone to clean their house

 

 

Some Easy-to-Arrange Ideas:

You will find some  great service gift ideas from Amazon Home Services.

 

 

Final Thoughts

 

 

1 2 3