Over 40 and Looking for Love?
Drop the Excuses to Find the Wonderful Relationship You Deserve
If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history. You’ve been in relationships before and you may want one now, but for whatever reason you haven’t found the right person yet.
Maybe you’re divorced and frustrated with dating or haven’t ventured back out to the dating pool. You could be a widow and unsure of ever finding another man like your husband. Perhaps you were in a live-in or long-term relationship that ended, so you’re single again.
Finding love the second time around (or even the first) is not easy. Still, people fall in love every day and many of my clients do find that loving man. So what’s the problem?
This might seem harsh, but you are likely telling yourself several lies about love after 40 that are hurting you. These negative beliefs prevent you from connecting, or worse, stop you from even looking.
You might have limiting ideas about dating, love and men, and it’s time to them turn things around. If you expose and transform those beliefs, opportunities will be created for you to find love again!
Limiting Beliefs: Are These Lies Stuck in Your Head?
All The Good Men Are Taken
This belief is very common. However, thinking about this statistically, there just has to be good single men available since half the adult population in the U.S. is single.
Men get divorced for the same reason women do; they grew apart from their wives, their wives cheated or circumstances just changed. Some men had their heart broken earlier in life and are just recovering and ready now. There are lots of reasons why good men are single and looking for a woman like you.
The fact is that now, more than any other time in history, there are a lot of people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who are single and looking for love. So don’t believe that there are no good men out there!
I’ve Already Had My One Shot at Love
Widows often believe this, particularly if they had a wonderful relationship with their husbands. They come away thinking that they will never find such a good man again. But this is exactly the reason why it is possible; if you found great love once, you can certainly do it again. You have the track record for success. Consider your circumstances differently and recognize that you are a magnet for love, since your energy is filled with loving thoughts from your past.
Looking For Love is Too Much Work
Dating is tough and you may reach a point when you feel that it is too exhausting and too much effort. But that feeling is just a symptom of your belief that you don’t think it’s possible to find love.
On the other hand, if you really believe that you will find love, then you know every man you meet brings you one step closer to finding the right man for you. Remind yourself that you are on the path to find love and nothing was going to get in your way. Dating is a process. Be in it to win to find the love you deserve.
I’m Picky About Looks
If you feel this way, you will surely be single for a long time! After 40, the chances of Mr. Right knocking on your door are zero. You are going to have to get off the couch and do your part to cross paths with lots of men.
Dating is a numbers game so the more men you meet, the better your chances for finding the love you want. Will every man you meet be perfect? Of course not! Most of the men you meet will not be right. But you don’t need them to be because you only need one.
In addition, no man is perfect (and neither are you). The perfect man does not exist; he is a myth and a fairy tale. However, there is a man who is the right one for you.
Get over this idea of perfection or you will stay single.
You Compare Men to Your BFFs
Seriously? How could a man ever compare to your girlfriends?
Men are not like women! They are dramatically different. We are not brought up the same, we have different innate skill sets and our brains are wired differently. We may be equals, but that does not make us the same.
Expecting a man to be like your girlfriends means he is bound to fail. Most men will never be as thoughtful or have the same depth of understanding as your girlfriends. That doesn’t mean, however, that men don’t have their own amazing contribution to make to your life. The right man expands and enhances your life in ways your girlfriends never will. My advice is to let go of this idea, because it will prevent you from finding the love you want.
You Don’t Trust Men
Women who have been burned by a man (or know people who have) tend to believe this, which is understandable.
Consider whether it can really be true that all men are like this. Mathematically, it is just not possible. There are definitely men who do not cheat, lie or refuse to settle down. Many women have found a fabulous, moral guy, who is not like that.
When you believe that all men are terrible, you will look for evidence that your viewpoint is correct. If you believe men are wonderful, you will see examples to support that.
Start looking for examples of quality men and you will notice that they are all around you.
There Aren’t Any Interesting Men (You Can’t be Serious!)
If you haven’t met any interesting men, then you aren’t out there actually meeting men! Also, many women find nice men to be boring and bad boys to be interesting. Yes, a bad boy’s unpredictable and aloof personality does make him intriguing and you want to unravel the mystery. He becomes a challenge for you to win over. However, a bad boy won’t change his stripes for you and won’t be good relationship material. If you insist on dating bad boys, count on heartbreak and torturous love affairs that do not satisfy.
There Aren’t Any Single Men Around
This is similar to the lie that all the good men are taken but with a local spin. Granted, some areas do have more married than single people. But overall, 50% of adult Americans are not hitched, so they must live near you, too. Your pessimism may have diminished your ability to notice men.
Men Don’t Really Want to Be in a Relationship
Let’s refer to the lie about all men being liars, cheaters and players; obviously, generalizations don’t hold much water. While not all men want a long-term relationship, there are certainly some who do.
If you want love, you need to do your part to meet plenty of men and screen them. One way to know if a man is serious about finding love is the way he talks about his life and dating. For example, if the guy you meet mentions moving or how much he loves women, he’s probably not ready settle down. If he says he’s tired of dating, he might be more serious about finding love.
There are definitely men out there who would be thrilled to fall in love with you, but you need to do your part.
I Don’t Have Time to Date
This is something women tell themselves constantly. Yes, you are busy. But you make time for what you decide is important.
To find love, you’ll need to make it a priority. Carve time out of your calendar at least once a week to meet new people. If you cannot do that, you don’t really want to find love.
You need to create the space in your schedule to find the love you want. If you say you just don’t have it, I understand. But you also need to admit that love is not a priority for you. There is no shame in that because finding love takes effort and requires a strong desire to take the necessary steps.
Get Some Insight
If you’re open to the idea, one of the most important things a psychic can do is help you learn more about yourself, which in turn, will help you be better prepared to look for a mate. Psychics can actually help reveal qualities that you didn’t even know you possessed.
A good psychic can also help you discover what traits in a prospective lover are most important to you, including characteristics that perhaps you never thought about. She can tell you which personality traits will complement your own, and what type of companion will best serve as your other half.
I recommend Psychic Access, because the psychics are all verified and tested, and you can experience a free reading to try it out.
Finding love over 40 can be challenging. But with an optimistic, proactive attitude on your part, it’s certainly doable – women over 40 are finding successful relationships every day. You can do this!
Thanks for visiting and reading …
I hope this article provided you some helpful ideas and a plan to find the love you deserve (whatever age you are!).
I welcome your comments below.
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